It was great to finally have a gathering on the latest Christmas night at Manjit’s house and I was glad that everyone was doing all well. After seven years, nothing much change on everyone’s face but am glad to see some of them has already formed up a family and some of them are planning to. As usual, my dearest teacher is still appearing as the most beautiful feature to all of us. The kindness on her face tells all. Her loves and cares are warm and inexplicable, just like a mum of us. It’s really enjoyable to have their companies, especially during a warm festival like this.
Many may wonder what kind of topic that we can pop up to after so many years. No doubt, the time distance has brought us apart and may create a strange feeling towards each other, but when I see them around, I can assure that the care is still within us, within our heart. It’s speechless. I was like going back to my warm family, seeing all my crazy brothers and hugging my beloved teacher and this is the moment that money can’t buy.
I was impressed by a statement last night. As the usual Pn. Manjit, she said: “Happiness is something grateful but not lasting; only the joy will last”. I was thinking this over and over again and it appears to be another door in my life and this key seems like the one I am seeking for all along – joy!
At first I really have no idea on how to differentiate the joy and happiness until she showed us the face of KN and SL. KN is newly married and SL is soon to be married. But the facial expressions present by both of them were different. No doubt they were smiling at the same time, but I could find the calm, warm and satisfaction kind of feeling in KN’s. He seems to have everything in life and thankful with what he has and I can see the stability in him is immeasurable.
I was wondering, how can I adopt that kind of feeling? Sometimes, I do think of letting go every unnecessary and concentrate on the thing that I really want in life. But, what do I want? Years ago, I was leading them all the way, but now, I think I am once again retarded. Sigh~ Thing that I want might be very simple but yet might also be complicated, that’s why it hassles me a lot. I’ve been trying out a lot of things just to find a fulfillment, but nothing’s helped and the shell is still empty.
I found it interesting when it came to a debate on co-habit and marriage. This topic was quite offensive but let’s to be opened, I think all of us did learn a precious lesson in this. Me, personally do agree with marriage and marriage for me is the most important issue in my life. Marriage no doubt is just a piece of paper with both signatures, but, the meaning hidden behind is rather deep and within the twos. Therefore, choosing the one to sign the paper is relatively hard.
Remember that I ever emphasized the “love” as respect and trust, but until today, I still find it very hard to achieve, aren’t they? As the age grows, the fret in finding a company becomes stronger and it’s no longer easy to fall in love like previously did. The adventurous spiritual is weaker because we all know that the time won’t wait. At this moment, what I’ll do is to pick a right one (hopefully), spend a right time and do the right thing because the junction I am pausing on right now is brittle and no doubt, I am scared.
When the sharing turned to me, I stoned a bit, then I went on… admitted that I have been breaking up months ago. As normal, never detach from the reason “why”, I said: “Everyone has different perspective, somebody may climb up to another stage at certain age, but some hasn’t (craps). For me, I haven’t, just because I need freedom and privacy and I can’t stand a relationship that is without trust and respect. I do not need my company to buy me pricey thing, but a shoulder to cry on, full stop. Yeap! I need mentally support very much and I need someone to walk thru the odds together with me and that’s where the love grows…
I read the worries in Manjit’s eye but I know she has the faith in me. I am glad that she gives me the strength to go on. Never ever have an elder in my life do put the trust on me like her before without wordy advice as she knows my kind. Really been a long time I never share my personal story like that because as the matter of “trust”.
Talking about career wise, it’s actually quite gratifying me and I have no uncertainty in performing it. Work smart but not work hard is always be the motto of mine. I am lazy, yea, but what if I could look for a shorter way that saves me ten years time from achieving it, then why not? It’s about think, think and think and it is very challenging for me. I always think that brainstorming is the main key to play cus you may have a lot of craps, but you will never know one of them may help you escape from the race. The mind is strong; it’s just the matter of time to figure out the right thing.
When came to MW and SL, I can see the change in them. Last time they were so shy and only talked nonsense in the class. I still remember that I always fight with SL years ago especially we use to compete a lot in getting a better grade in Mathematic. He was the mentor driving me to study but he loves craps, that’s why I never want to listen to him. But that night, I put my stereotype away, opened my heart and listened to them. They were so confident and approachable and one thing that makes me impress was - they were debating! Unbelievable but yes, that is the way! I love sharing thoughts because that is how we learn from each other.
One last thing that makes my day was - YS kissed Manjit! Woo~ I can’t believe my eye that my shy boy was actually kissing our beloved teacher in front of everyone! The scene is so warm and touching. Be honest, I want to kiss her too, so please, let me take the mission next time and you guys just don’t jump the queue, alright?!
I am looking forward to organize another gathering in the near future, and this time I want to see more of our favorite teachers like our missy Cik Lai, En. Wong, Pn. Lian, Pn. Ng and so on. I believe the moment should be much more treasuring. So, my members, let’s work it out together and make our BETA spirit sparks forever!
